The E-Sylum:  Volume 10, Number 53, December 30, 2007, Article 21

SPOOF ARTICLE: DOLLAR WOES CAUSED BY HAIRY EYEBALL

[The satirical web site The Spoof ascribes the reason
for the dollar's fall to the mysterious all-seeing-eye
on the Great Seal of the United States.  -Editor]

Congressman Barney Frank, chairman of the House Financial
Services Committee, took the Federal Reserve to task
yesterday, saying the eyeball atop the pyramid on the US
dollar was causing it to decline against other world currencies.

"Speaking frankly, as I always do, if I had a choice I
wouldn't take US dollars either," the Massachusetts Democrat
said to Benjamin Bernanke as the Fed Chairman appeared before
Congress for his quarterly scolding by grandstanding
legislators. "The hairy eyeball is a real problem in
world financial markets."

Bernanke said the Fed was only playing the hand it was
dealt by a world-wide conspiracy of Freemasons who plotted
to include the eyeball in the great seal of the United
States in the 18th century. "The all-seeing eye is the
symbol of God, the great architect of the universe"
Bernanke explained, reading from a prepared text he had
pulled off the internet shortly before entering the
hearing room. "Either that or it's an Egyptian god that
was brought to America in a UFO."

A number of the Founding Fathers including George Washington
were Freemasons and the eye and the pyramid are commonly-
used symbols in the rites and lore of that secret society.
"Like most other lodges, the Freemasons are primarily an
excuse for men to get together and drink," says William
Thain, an expert on American fraternal societies. "The eye
is often depicted inside an enclosed pyramid, which translates
rebus-style into 'I want to get out of the house'."

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  Wayne Homren, Editor

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