• No tie-less wide lapels or sneakers at this race day. Ermine bindles abundant.
• Stylish duo caught on CCTV but the falcon did not land in the nest!

This to my way of thinking is reference to the Melbourne Cup held on the US election day 4th November. It is a special race day with lots of dressed women with flowery hats and rather over the top attention. The race finished in almost a dead heat which was sorted out by the CCTV.

The falcon and the nest could be a reference to a horse (I don't follow the races) that was in the race. It may also allude to his purchase not arriving!

As you note his creative writing was probably penned from having imbibed himself and indulgences on that day (wine or other beverages with a high alcohol content).

I hope this helps Charlie. Not all writers resort to poetic prose in giving a positive response on eBay.